Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!

     The namesake of this post is a quote from the wonderfully dark and introspective film, Donnie Darko. This cult classic, starring Jake Gyllenhaal along with Drew Berrymore, Patric Swazzy, and other notable actors, is one of my all time favorite movies. Besides the unique medium of a psychological thriller to address some very flawed ideals within society, this film provides a unique adventure, or at the very least involves common motifs in an idiosyncratic fashion. While many quotes from this movie give me pause and beg me to contemplate them in depth and with sincerity, this 'very-funny-to-me-in-context' quote has been making the seen quite a lot today. Here is a clip from youtube of the quote from the movie, with a little bit of context surrounding it:



     Most of the time, I feel the strong urge to quote this (in the similar grating, melodramatic style of Beth Grant), when somebody remarks with uncertainty or the word "sure" in regards to one of my ideas or propositions for adventure. Today however, I felt as if I was on the receiving end, and the expression I felt my face making each time was just like that of Mary McDonnell here- what I would describe as shock spliced with regret face spliced with defeat face.
     *Just to point out as an aside, notice in the clip above the masterful subtlety of the score as Mrs. Darko begins to offer reasoning against going on the trip. "I don't know kitty, it's a bad weekend."As the words leave her mouth, an eerie tone faintly enters the scene, very cleverly foreshadowing. Back to me.

     While this conversation is very humorous for many reasons, more specifically to those who have seen the film in its entirety, likely many times over like myself, when I have heard it today it has been with an overlaying tone of seriousness as well as that sense of foreshadowing I alluded to. This leaves me to think, "Am I committed to Sparkle Motion?" In truth, not particularly. But here now, perhaps that is not the point. So, I think of when today that popped into my head. ::strains for memories of today::... it seems so far away. Still, as I examine the larger, more substantial parts of my day individually, I think there is a theme- in every distinct activity I can remember the feeling of dread, followed by determination. This leads me to believe that, for such a change in attitude, something must have encouraged, if not catalyzed this transformation. Could it be here that I was barraged with judgment as to my commitment? Well, yes.
     I will leave it at this: Commitment must not be overshadowed by means nor end, but rather strengthened by the genesis for which it is consummated. Be assured that an end will be achieved, and the means will make you stronger, but the commitment comes from the heart of purpose.

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